As we practice, our self-evaluation will often go into hyperdrive and we become extra in tune to "picking up signals from people. [These are] things that others might not even notice. Because we're going to pick up a lot of things like that, we need to be careful that we don't pick up something that's not really there." (Noland, 158).
We need to make sure that we are not taking offense to something when no offense was intended. Specifically, we need to make sure that all of our pride in our craft has not caused us to walk around with a chip on our shoulder. After all "He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him
who searches for it" (Proverbs 11:27). Noland astutely states, "don't make a big deal out of a comment that was not intended to be a big deal" (Noland, 158).
Being overly sensitive is something that we see throughout the bible with not so pleasant consequences. As an example, Noland shares a portion of the story of Samuel. Specifically, the elders of Israel approached Samuel and asked him to appoint another king to rule over them. This was extremely offensive to Samuel because he felt like Israel didn't like his leadership and almost caused a civil war. While Samuel was fuming over there request, God simply stated, "Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as their king" (1 Samuel 8:7). Noland paraphrases this by saying, "in other words, God said to him, 'Don't make a mountain out of a mole hill, Samuel. This isn't about you, so don't take it personally" (Noland, 159).
Really, the only way to solve this conflict is to talk openly about the comment. Seek out the person that you felt slighted by and have a conversation about the comment. Typically, you will find that you took the comment more personally than it was ever intended. "So be careful not to take offense if none was intended" (Noland, 159)
In our worship team, what should we do if we disagree with someone's review of their work? Is this something that we need to work on as a team? If so, what do you think we can do to ensure that we are building each other up while continuing to be honest with each other about growth areas?
Only love inspires love. If all we say is said in love and all we do is done in love then we can ensure the our team will grow to be all that God is calling us to be.
ReplyDeleteWendi
I think people respond defensively to critique, not necessarily even criticism, for a couple of reasons:
ReplyDeleteWe over rate our skills, (Who is that person to comment on my performance when I am making a more important contribution.) or we underrate our skills (Maybe the group would be better off filling my place with a more talented person.)
Both of these stances are wrong because they center on self instead of the goal - enhancing the worship experience for those outside of ourselves and bringing them closer to the God who loves them more than we could ever imagine.
So, if all our eyes are on the goal, if we speak to one another from a heart of love, if ego is checked at the door, we as a team can do what we are called to do.
Judy