Are You Threatening Me?

What do you get when you cross Allison Reynolds, Andrew Clark, John Bender, Brian Johnson, and Claire Standish? Well, The Breakfast Club of course! This cult classic comically illustrates how five teens from five different defensive cliques overcome certain personality traits. The main reason this comedy became such a success is that it spoke to a broad audience’s fears about taking down defensive walls.

Everyone is defensive, but artists seem to be especially more so. Therefore, we need to learn how to manage that defensiveness so that it does not get in the way of our ability to excel at our craft. In The Heart of the Artist, Noland talks in great lengths about the dangers of defensiveness. He opens the discussion by stating, “Sometimes those of use with artistic temperaments get defensive when we’re criticized. We can be overly sensitive, and we let the least little thing hurt us. Sometimes we’re offended even when no offense was intended, and we take things more personally than they were meant to be taken” (Noland, 155). Sadly, oftentimes, the person who seems to be the most defensive doesn’t even realize that they are being so defensive. This problem is kind of a Catch 22. How do you tell an overly defensive person that they are being overly defensive?

The first step is to take an honest look at yourself and see if you are being overly defensive. Even if we’re being honest, probably most of us would say we are not a defensive person because it is hard for us to recognize that trait in ourselves. This means, instead, that we need to be aware that we may be overly defensive and be hypersensitive to how we listen to other’s feedback. Noland aptly states, “we can’t grow as artists until we deal with this character issue, which can be a blind spot for us artists.”

If we fail to address this blind spot, we will fail as artists. Noland lists three specific detrimental outcomes of defensiveness that occur when we are not open to feedback:

1.       Defensiveness Alienates Us from Others

“People reject someone who’s chronically defensive. The irony here is that the overly sensitive person eventually becomes insensitive to others because they’re so self-absorbed. What starts out as a defense mechanism against being hurt turns out to inflict an even greater hurt: loneliness and alienation. This isn’t good for the artist who’s trying to experience community or trying to build meaningful relationships in his or her life” (Noland, 156)

2.       Defensiveness Keeps Us from the Truth

“People tend to shy away from being honest with overly sensitive people, because they don’t want to hurt them…  [but] believe me, being deceived about your abilities is far worse than knowing and accepting your strengths and weaknesses” (Noland, 157)

3.       Defensiveness Keeps Us from Being All We Can Be

“When we allow ourselves to be defensive, we stop growing as people and as artists. Sometimes we get defensive because we feel threatened. We think we have to protect ourselves and our art. But the very thing we’re trying to protect suffers the most from our defensiveness. That’s because we cut ourselves off from that which can help us flourish as artists: constructive feedback” (Noland, 158)

Taking into account what you have learned and what you already know about defensiveness, answer the following questions:

1.       What causes an artist to be defensive?

2.       Why is defensiveness such a blind spot for artists?

3.       Have you known any defensive people in your life? How did their defensiveness affect you?

4.       Have you ever felt offended by someone and found out later that they didn’t mean to hurt you? What did you learn from that?

5.       Can you think of someone who takes criticism well or responds to suggestions with grace? What do you notice about the way this person handles those kinds of things?