Handling Criticism

We are now beginning the chapter on handling criticism (gulp). Noland begins the chapter with an anecdote and a set of study questions that definitely serves to touch a chord in all of us. At some point, we have all mishandled criticism and it has been very detrimental to our own ability to worship and lead others in worship. Here is Noland's story:

Justin is a sound technician at Southport Community Church. He puts in a lot of hours volunteering at the church. For most every service or major event, he's the first on there and the last one to leave. He sets up the sound equipment for the service, mixes drama, band, and vocals, and runs the lights. During the week he maintains the church's sound and lighting gear, and he's been doing all this for well over ten years. The church doesn't pay him and he's okay with that, even though he could easily spend more than forty hours a week there. He knows how rare it is for a church to hire a technical director. So he teaches physical education at the grade school every day and then runs over to the church by late afternoon. He enjoys what he does at the church, but lately he's been at odds with Sam, the new programming director. Sam's got all sorts of new ideas that put Justin on tilt every time they talk.

When they first met, Sam gave Justin a long list of changes he wanted to make. First of all, he wanted to lengthen rehearsal time, which meant that Justin would have to be at the church even earlier. Justin was already stressed out from all the hours he was putting in. He couldn't help but think, what's wrong with the way we were doing things before? Sam wanted new monitors, he wanted to move the speakers in the sanctuary, he wanted to mic the drums differently, and he wanted to go stereo with all the keyboards. Justin thought, Who does this guy think he is to come in here and change everything?

One of the changes that has been especially difficult for Justin has been the evaluation meeting he's now forced to attend very early every Monday morning. The key leaders involved in putting the service together meet with the pastor at a local restaurant and critique the previous day's service. This is hard for Justin. Every time anything negative comes up about the sound or lighting, he gets very defensive. One time the pastor asked why his lapel mic sounded as if it were on the verge of feedback during the sermon, and Justin snapped back saying, "Well, if I had some decent equipment to work with, we wouldn't have this problem." No one knew what to say. The conversation moved on, but Justin wasn't really listening during the rest of the meeting. He was lost in a series of negative and defensive thoughts: They have no idea how hard I work... I'm doing the best I can... They're luck to have me... No one else would put up with all this... I dont' get paid to do this...

Sam has made several suggestions about the band mix and vocal sound that haven't set real well with Justin. One time Same was onstage and asked for less reverb on the group vocals and more "warmth." This made Justin angry. I know what I'm doing. I don't need anybody to tell me how to run sound, he thought. But he complied, and even had to admit that less reverb gave the overall sound more clarity. To add insult to injury, several people complimented Justin on the mix as they left church that morning. Many people said they could hear the lyrics better. Justin appreciated their innocent encouragement, but he still didn't like the idea of that new guy Sam telling him how to do his job.

The communication between the two men has seemed like a tug-of-war. Every time Sam makes a suggestion, Justin asks why and then grudgingly complies. As a result, there is a tension at every sound check, every meeting, and every service. People feel as if they have to walk on eggshells when they're around Justin, because he takes even the slightest bit of criticism so personally. He seems angry all the time.

To make things worse, the two men clashed over a moral issue that came to the surface in Justin's life. Justin and his fiancee, who wasn't a believer, had been living together for several months. When Sam confronted him about it, Justin at first denied it. Sam persisted, and Justin accused him of being judgmental, pointing out that the decision to live together was a financial one.

The straw that broke the camel's back, however, may have occurred last week. More singers than usual were to perform during the service. A microphones were being handed out ten minutes before the service was to start, someone discovered two bad microphone cords - and no spares. Justin had been meaning to buy some new cords, but he just hadn't gotten around to it. He had dropped the ball. When Sam anxiously questioned him about it, Justin became defensive and angry, finally telling Sam, "If you want mic cords, get 'em yourself!"

During the service Justin could hardly concentrate. He was seething inside. He was angry at Sam, he was angry with everyone onstage, and he was angry at the church. His thoughts outpaced his emotions. What right does this newcomer have to make such outrageous demands all the time? And where does he get off, telling me how to do my job? Doesn't he think I know what I'm doing? If it wasn't for me, this service wouldn't even be happening. I deserve to be treated better than this. The anger burned hotter and hotter until Justin couldn't take it anymore. He got up and left, right in the middle of the opening song. He turned the board off and everything went dead. There was a loud boom throughout the auditorium, and the entire congregation turned and watched Justin storm out of the booth, down the hall, and out the door.

After the service, Sam tried several times to call Justin at home, but Justin was screening his calls and never picked up the phone. In his own way he was trying to punish Sam. He had everyone's attention now and he wanted to make his point. He sat home alone, sulking in front of the TV.

1. Why do you think Justin reacted negatively to every suggestion Sam made?

2. What would you suggest Justin do to patch up his relationship with Sam?

3. What should Sam do next to try to patch things up with Justin?

4. Do you think Sam was right in confronting Justin about living with his fiancee?

5. Is there any way the tension between Justin and Sam could have been avoided? What could they have done differently that would have enabled them to work together more harmoniously?

6. How does a defensive spirit affect rehearsals?

7. How should an artist handle criticism?